Suggested Reading
In this ground breaking book, Anne Wayman, explores two myths that grown up in the 12 Step movement:
never-ending recovery, and perpetual powerlessness. Convinced that
the 12 Steps offer the best chance for lasting recovery, she challenges
the movement to acknowledge the fear behind the myths, and let them
go so that the Program can reach its full potential.
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Ibogaine; the Joy of Rehab continued
But the reality is, their main desire is to make you over
in their image of what you should be, redefine you on their terms, and
convert you to their cult - whatever it happens to be. This leads to
"do it our way or you will die" syndrome. Which, to be blunt, is
completely untrue and absolute bullshit. I mean, I'm not even sure how to express it as anything except really bad surrealism.
You are surrounded by people who may or may not actually be clean; in theory they all are, although in reality many of them have been involved in "drug-counseling" for years, while totally strung-out and actively using their drugs of choice, at the same time they are theoretically advising others to stay off drugs.The advice is absurd,
the life-stories are complete disasters, and basically the people who
are supposed to be there to help guide you in establishing or
re-establishing different patterns of behavior, are individuals who could either be
doing what they're doing, "drug-counseling," or have a really exciting career
in the fast-food industry.
In short, all of this feels like walking into the middle of a really
bad comedy routine, that just keeps repeating itself, over and over, and
over again, without ever getting to the punchline.
When I look at this space in time within my current perspective and
sift through it, looking for what was there. Attempting to color it any
other way, or imbue it with any sort of redemptive quality, I am forced to
admit that it did provide me with an absolute turning point in my life.
Drug addiction sucks, it's slavery. But as much as it sucks... it's
doable. I have gone through literally years of my life saying, "I
cannot live like this another day," but oddly enough the days keep right on
passing into months and years. If this is as bad as it gets, I can
handle
it.
Jail or prison also sucks. But really, it's all the same thing. Yet
another sub-culture with its own set of rituals and rules, and more or
less all the same bullshit you find anywhere else. The only difference
being, you don't have to do a whole lotta soul-searching to identify
the bars of the cell you're locked in.
Rehab...»»
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