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Lots of good info on the war on drugs, on national drug policy and more
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Ibogaine; the Joy of Rehab continued
Rehab... is not doable. If this is as bad as it gets, then forget it,
I opt for the lesser of two evils and want the drugs back, because this
is absolutely intolerable. I have allowed myself to reach the point of
nearly complete disintegration by shutting down my connection to what I
really am. And yah know... all that's happening here is while I'm
laying on the ground bleeding to death, I keep getting kicked in the face.
No matter how weak I am, no matter how tired I am, no matter how badly
I'm just totally messed up. I cannot swallow this bullshit. If you say
black is white and up is down, 10,000 times, and fill rooms full of people
who have grown to agree with one another on these topics . . . I still
cannot make myself believe in something that does not resonate with my truth.
If I wanted to allow myself to be reprogrammed I would at least pick a
cult that I liked and thought was somewhat interesting. This is
just ... nonsense, wishful thinking, and a whole lotta bullshit.
And ultimately . . . I am allowing myself to be subjected to this crap.
I have not been sentenced here, this is not part of some deal my lawyer
cut to allow me to avoid incarceration, I am here of my own volition.
And for the amount of money I'm paying to be at the receiving end of
this, and live in a dump like this, I could be renting a really sweet hotel
room, have my drugs delivered to the front door, order limo service,
and find a lotta nice ways to entertain myself. I am starting to realize
that I truly must be sick if I've checked myself into this place - there's
something definitely wrong with me, and I really do need to do
SOMETHING - but this . . . this ain't it. ¤
Ibogaine Research Project http://www.ibogaine-research.org
Healing Visions http://www.healingvisions.com
MindVox http://www.mindvox.com
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