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She seemed unable to take care of herself. She smoked pot all the time, which she said helped with the personalities. By Wednesday, she got progressively abusive towards me, verbally lashing out at me without any apparent cause. I couldn't figure out what triggered her outbursts. Her social worker explained that she's afraid, and is trying to be parental.
Like my mother, her children were taken from her, too.»
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Her social worker also told me that she had been raped and impregnated at 13, by an uncle. She had the baby, and twenty days later, her grandmother, a Mrs. Lockhart in Rochester, New Hampshire, killed it by throwing it in a furnace, right before Samantha's eyes. School records substantiate this, yet mysteriously, to this day, no charges have been filed. This is when her personalities fractionated.
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Friday morning, I rented a car and was to leave for New Hampshire to meet my mother and half brother, Joey. Unfortunately, this was not to be the case. Samantha had hid the car key and would not allow me to leave. She raised her voice as she made threats, and I got to witness all sanity leave her during the next few hours - what her social worker refers to as "an episode".
Samantha called the Hartford police, and when my I.D. was checked, I was cuffed and escorted to a Connecticut jail, awaiting extradition to a California prison for my parole violation of leaving the state. This was three hours before I was to have met my mother, which for 33 years, only dreamed about.
Having knowledge of my family's history sheds considerable light on my own past - self- medicating my depression with heroin for all those years. I strongly believe that all wards of the state, especially children, should have access to pertinent medical family information. When it comes to mental illness, I've found that knowledge can be very beneficial and powerful. Who knows - had I known about my family's mental illness, I may not have chosen to use, but instead gotten the medical attention I really needed.
I will be seen before a California Parole Board in mid-March. I will serve the necessary time I have to for my violation. But my hope is to be reunited with my family - my wife and daughter - back in the midwest. We are trying for a parole transfer so that I can resume the recovery of my life. ««
Support from H.T. Readers via e-mail and prayers for my mother's recovery would be greatly appreciated. - anty@sbcglobal.net
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