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Thom Rudgly's
E-MINDER: Don't assume that you know why you are here.
Gillian said, "If I'm not Mother Teresa, then what good am I?"
She was
joking --- sort of. The truth is that she really does set this kind of
standard for herself. Like many others I have worked with in therapy,
Gillian has a strong need to feel purposeful, but she makes achieving that
goal impossible by constantly raising the bar. "If I can just achieve
[fill in the blank], then I can have some peace of mind," we tell
ourselves. But even though we achieve the goal, the associated peace of
mind keeps disappearing like a mirage in the hot desert.
Gillian is insightful and can explain this as well --- or better --- than I can. She knows that whatever goal she has set in the past for herself has never met with her expectations once achieved, and she knows that the goals she sets for herself today will most likely be tomorrow's disappointments.
If this sounds familiar, consider the following story.
Richard died and went to the great press conference in the sky. You know,
the few minutes we all hope to have with God so we can ask our questions.
Should I have gone into advertising rather than law?
Did I miss my opportunity for love when I broke up with my college boyfriend?
Exactly what was the point of that lousy investment I made that bankrupted me?
Oh yes, and what is the meaning of life?
Richard's questions were about purpose. More than anything, he wanted all
his life to know that what he was doing mattered, that his life was
important. He lived his life in pursuit of purpose, and as a result he did
much good in his 68 years on the planet.
God, knowing all this about Richard, reviewed with him many of the good
things he had accomplished.
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