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i'm no longer here.
i have disappeared.
if you look into the air
my soul is in the atmosphere
i'm not who you think i am.
i know who i am.
i think i know who i am.
i really don’t know who i am anymore. i don’t know who i’ve become. i don’t know what happened. it happenedso fast. one day i tried heroin and suddenly i’m incarcerated and dope sick...in desperate need of a tiny piece of brown filth so that i can live peacefully in my own world.
i’m not at peace today. i’m really not at peace on any day but denial is so strong and i’ve only just begun the long, slow, painful, shame infested world of drug addiction...and wouldn’t another person have cause for alarm upon getting arrested? are you kidding? i was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
i’m hurting.
i’m her sting.
i don’t hurt anyone.
i hurt.
i don’t care.
i do care.
i’m not hurting anyone.
i hurt myself.
i’m her sting.
i’m hurting.
i’m handed a paper bag with a sandwich, a carton of milk and i don’t remember if it was cookies or an apple. i’m not hungry. i’m sick and my stomach hurts and i have to go to the bathroom. the female officer told me i could go to the bathroom when i get downtown. i’m locked inside a holding cell which contains 10-15 women. i tell them that i have to go to
the bathroom and they point to a toilet that sits in the center of the cell. no fucking way. i have to go to the bathroom. i’m sick. i have to…i’m sick…i can’t¤
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